Stuff and stuff
- What's up with midseason TV cliffhangers implying potential death for the main character in "next week's episode?" We see this all the time on 24 and other shows (apparently Grey's Anatomy - one of the few shows I actually don't watch - had this same thing go down over the past few weeks). What the fuck is the point? We know the networks don't have the stones to kill off the best/main character in the middle of the season, usually because the show is not strong enough to last without the character (unlike The Wire, where bitches die left and right, but the show rolls on cuz it's a motherfucking powerhouse). We also know things like Kiefer Sutherland has another two years on his contract and 24 being re-upped for another couple years. This is some insulting, ratings-bait shit.
- This comment is coming kind of late, but I feel strongly enough about it that I can't not discuss it. Simmons and other people more recently have talked about ideas for revamping NBA All-Star Saturday (you know the Dunk Contest, 3s Contest, and other unwatchable bullshit), but nobody has mentioned this one: One-on-One Contest. What if you took the 8 best one-on-one guys in the league (voted on by the players) and put them in a mini-tournament, playing each game to 5 or 7 points. Wouldn't this be the most compelling contest you had ever seen, short of the NCAAs? Odd matchups, like LeBron vs. Iverson or Wade vs. Shaq, would be fucking ill, no? This could probably never happen because of the chance of injury, but I guarantee this would get better turnout than the Dunk Contest because every big star probably thinks he is the best one-on-one guy in the league and would love to prove it. Also, I'd take a healthy McGrady over anybody. Even Robert Swift.
- Say you had a 20 year old daughter and she somehow caught the eyes of both Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson. Who would you prefer her to go out with?
- What's up with the NFL Combine being televised? Are people really into this? The NFL Network apparently has been showing nonstop footage of dudes running 40 yards, playing catch, and benching 225 pounds as frequently as they are capable. This sounds like the worst thing ever, but I can actually see myself getting sucked into this for like 10 or 15 minutes, maybe to see the O-linemen run the 40.
- Since I last posted, the Celtics have won three times. Three times!!! What the fuck? This includes beating a good Rockets team...on the road! Granted a McGrady-less and Yao-less squad leaves the Rockets with about as much punch as my college intramural team, but still, these are the Celtics, fellas - you gotta win that game. And the Knicks! Losing to the Celts as they are in the process of gunning for the 8th spot? Fuck this. Not like they're gonna get the first pick even if they are the worst team in the league. Start fitting Alando Tucker's jerseys for next year, Celtics tailor.
- Did you see the story where a mother in Tacoma taught her kids (not little kids, teenagers and early 20s, if I'm not mistaken) how to act like retards in order to collect social services money? Apparently, she's cashed in for something like $300K. That's some vile shit. On the other hand, if somebody is able to collect some scrill by convincing social services that I am retarded - based on my behavior pretty much every night each weekend post-midnight - well, I'm all for that.
- Anybody else catch the Texas-Texas A&M game last night? I tuned in to the very end and was treated to some serious drama. My man Durant was prominently featured in this one, tossing up a 30 and 16 to go with 3 blocks, however, he faded a little down the stretch, aside from some (clutch) free throws. The real revelation of this double overtime beauty was Acie Law IV. I'm telling you, this guy is a fucking assassin. Two absolutely impossible threes - including one that damn near hit the rafters in order to get it over Durant's arm - to tie the game at the end of regulation and the end of the first overtime. I had no idea, but apparently this guy does this all the time. He's like the Papi of college hoops. Had to be seen live to be appreciated because everybody in the building knew he was taking both those shots and he still drained them.
- Still, I'm liking Texas more and more come tournament time, which starts in TWO WEEKS, MOTHERFUCKERS. Beware the Ides of March.
- Did you hear the stupid shit that Celtics TV analyst Cedric Maxwell has been saying? Well, who cares about that - the real story is that his catchphrase/schtick is quacking. As in, when somebody does something well, he just starts loudly quacking duck-style. It's hilarious and you should probably YouTube/Google/tune in to a Celtics broadcast at some point to experience this. So, between the awarding of Tommy points and Maxwell's quacking, you have to admit the Celts got the best color analysis going.
- Finally, you should make a comment after reading this even if it has nothing to do with this post. Makes shit more interesting at work. Thanks
Quack.
- This comment is coming kind of late, but I feel strongly enough about it that I can't not discuss it. Simmons and other people more recently have talked about ideas for revamping NBA All-Star Saturday (you know the Dunk Contest, 3s Contest, and other unwatchable bullshit), but nobody has mentioned this one: One-on-One Contest. What if you took the 8 best one-on-one guys in the league (voted on by the players) and put them in a mini-tournament, playing each game to 5 or 7 points. Wouldn't this be the most compelling contest you had ever seen, short of the NCAAs? Odd matchups, like LeBron vs. Iverson or Wade vs. Shaq, would be fucking ill, no? This could probably never happen because of the chance of injury, but I guarantee this would get better turnout than the Dunk Contest because every big star probably thinks he is the best one-on-one guy in the league and would love to prove it. Also, I'd take a healthy McGrady over anybody. Even Robert Swift.
- Say you had a 20 year old daughter and she somehow caught the eyes of both Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson. Who would you prefer her to go out with?
- What's up with the NFL Combine being televised? Are people really into this? The NFL Network apparently has been showing nonstop footage of dudes running 40 yards, playing catch, and benching 225 pounds as frequently as they are capable. This sounds like the worst thing ever, but I can actually see myself getting sucked into this for like 10 or 15 minutes, maybe to see the O-linemen run the 40.
- Since I last posted, the Celtics have won three times. Three times!!! What the fuck? This includes beating a good Rockets team...on the road! Granted a McGrady-less and Yao-less squad leaves the Rockets with about as much punch as my college intramural team, but still, these are the Celtics, fellas - you gotta win that game. And the Knicks! Losing to the Celts as they are in the process of gunning for the 8th spot? Fuck this. Not like they're gonna get the first pick even if they are the worst team in the league. Start fitting Alando Tucker's jerseys for next year, Celtics tailor.
- Did you see the story where a mother in Tacoma taught her kids (not little kids, teenagers and early 20s, if I'm not mistaken) how to act like retards in order to collect social services money? Apparently, she's cashed in for something like $300K. That's some vile shit. On the other hand, if somebody is able to collect some scrill by convincing social services that I am retarded - based on my behavior pretty much every night each weekend post-midnight - well, I'm all for that.
- Anybody else catch the Texas-Texas A&M game last night? I tuned in to the very end and was treated to some serious drama. My man Durant was prominently featured in this one, tossing up a 30 and 16 to go with 3 blocks, however, he faded a little down the stretch, aside from some (clutch) free throws. The real revelation of this double overtime beauty was Acie Law IV. I'm telling you, this guy is a fucking assassin. Two absolutely impossible threes - including one that damn near hit the rafters in order to get it over Durant's arm - to tie the game at the end of regulation and the end of the first overtime. I had no idea, but apparently this guy does this all the time. He's like the Papi of college hoops. Had to be seen live to be appreciated because everybody in the building knew he was taking both those shots and he still drained them.
- Still, I'm liking Texas more and more come tournament time, which starts in TWO WEEKS, MOTHERFUCKERS. Beware the Ides of March.
- Did you hear the stupid shit that Celtics TV analyst Cedric Maxwell has been saying? Well, who cares about that - the real story is that his catchphrase/schtick is quacking. As in, when somebody does something well, he just starts loudly quacking duck-style. It's hilarious and you should probably YouTube/Google/tune in to a Celtics broadcast at some point to experience this. So, between the awarding of Tommy points and Maxwell's quacking, you have to admit the Celts got the best color analysis going.
- Finally, you should make a comment after reading this even if it has nothing to do with this post. Makes shit more interesting at work. Thanks
Quack.
posted by Speckled Trout at
4:49 PM
9 Comments:
i'd take starbury over t-mac
i'd take pacman over tank...tank is 300+ lbs...think about the possible damage
you just hate irish people, legend.
mcgrady would destroy "the best point guard in the league."
who let the ducks out?
Marbury is definitely in the conversation for top one-on-one players in the NBA. McGrady is a good combo of size and speed - also definitely in the conversation - but he's not nearly as agile/explosive as he used to be. Why would McGrady be better than Lebron at this point in their respective careers? Raefer Alston would be unstoppable if they waived all dribbling-related rules. My pick for this thing, though, is Dirk. He's not as quick as any of the guards, but he's stronger and longer (will make a D-Wade-type alter his shot even if he has a step on the big German). Plus Dirk is a rare combination of messy hair and giant teeth. He'd be a tough matchup for anybody. He can hit pull up jumpers all day on big guys and small guys alike. Plus he can at least be decent on the defensive end against pretty much everybody.
Anyone see Pat Summitt singing and dancing in that cheerleader outfit? Ten bucks on Legend being pissed off that he didn't have the chance to play beer pong with her when he was in Tennessee...
hey dick, saw your comments to Ricks last week. why didn't you just ask her to play beer pong with you, then go up to your room to take shots afterward... sketchball.
anyway, i completely disagree with dirk being the top 1-on-1 guy. he's not even top 25. he's the type of player who fits in great in the team environment because he can capitalize on mismatches and defensive schemes, but him alone showcasing his skills would not be pretty against players like starbury, kobe, lebron, wade, stoudamire, or melo (my new #1, did you SEE the agility in that commerical of him 2 years ago tossing two balls to a trainer while shimmying around the arc...dude got skillz). technically this should be a hands-down bron-bron wins conversation except he is developing some major problems. we've all read the espn articles about his game regressing and everyone is blaming his teamates and his coach, but that isn't the real problem at all. i've seen a bunch of his interviews and this dude has a major attitude problem which is the source of all this (the teamates don't help, but you never saw jordan quit when he had a bad team, or even kobe last year), and it's all because he got too much too soon. ya can't nationally televise a 17 yr old kid's HS games, keep telling him he's the second coming, and give him $100+ million when he turns 18. He's the Spaulding Smails of NBA superstars, a spoiled brat. What did we expect to happen to him? Did we honestly expect him to be a humble, hard-working team player. Unless something drastically changes, which unfortunately I do not foresee, I think Lebron is going to end up as the Barry Bonds of the NBA (minus the steroid use). AKA, dominant player, strikes fear in the opposing team, great stats, but no championships, a clubhouse cancer, and an a-hole. Just watch, we're about 2 years away.
i would take escalade from the and 1 team against anyone in the NBA in one on one. although i'm skeptical about his status as a bi-ped. think they may just wheel him out on a dolly and stick him on the court.
tracker trayler is another pick, although not sure he still plays. all about heft in one on one. clog the lane, even if it's basically as wide as the whole court.
regarding 24, i didn't watch this show until this season, but man that show sucks. its not suspenseful at all, you can pretty much predict everything that happens. and without the suspense, what's the point of it. i'm not gonna lie, though. the new yorker article about the creator of the show, who came off as one of the great pricks in history, didn't help its cause. hangs out with rush limbaugh, big proponent of torture, ignored the army when they keep telling him that torture doesn't actually work etc. good article though.
anyway, gave that show a chance. done from now on. also, American Idol, done with that too. they never sing sonic youth songs, it fucking sucks. finally, trout's favorite show, how i met your mom. terrible. I'd rather watch all the lesbian nexts we have tivoed. 30 rock is pretty good we discovered, however, after the OC (again, wow terrible season) ended.
TV sucks. i got a library card and netflix. no porn on netflix, we discovered. did just read an article about origami porn. no joke. http://www.villagevoice.com/gallery/0709,altman_orag,75936,3.html?pic=2&total=11
ok, first off, im with legend on this dirk thing. he might be able to hang offensively (might), but he couldnt stop me on defense. as long as his opponent drew him out to play perimeter defense, he'd be fuct.
also, i think lebron is gonna be fine. hes getting enough backlash this season that he's gonna shape up. the lebron bashing kind of came to a head over the all star break and now i bet he turns it up. based on last night's game, he should be ok. though we should be more worried about this duncan-like free throw decline.
american idol is definitely wack at this point, although the voting shows are still somewhat watchable. the worst part of the show, as i said from the start, is the performances once the contestants are pared down to the final 30 or whatever. it would be pretty sweet if lakisha belted out "my friend goo," though.
How i met your mother is watchable and sometimes funny, but more importantly, its the only thing on mondays at 8.
30 rock, could be a keeper.
oc, clearly on life support since at least the 3rd season, but the first season was good enough to keep me around til the end.
I get back from France and I see a week old request for a boob pic?! Sorry boys, not my style for a Monday morning...
The funiest part of the Pacman story is that the fight started b/c he was "making it rain" for visual effect only and got mad when the strippers took the money. Now, umm, I'm no expert on Strip Club Etiquette, but if money gets thrown, isn't that generally known to be a gift for the strippers? How were they supposed to know he was only going for visual effect?
hey ricks - how about a tuesday morning?
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