Daytona 500, et al.
I know I am a week late with this post, but my increasing affinity towards NASCAR leaves me no choice but to write about the most significant race of the year (as I watch the following week's event, the exhilarating Autoclub 500). First of all, the Daytona 500 (and most other races) is too long for the casual fan. I had it on in the background for a few hours, not really watching it until the last 20 laps or so, when it gets exciting. Unfortunately, there were three cautions, so said last 20 laps took about 70 minutes. There was some noteworthy action, however.
- First, Kelly Clarkson performed on the infield before the race. I don't like her music, but she was wearing the skimpiest, loose-fitting top I have ever seen. It may have been a napkin. Or a pocket square. You got a visual, yet? My buddy, Tom, texted me a few times begging for a "tit shot." My sentiments exactly, Tom. I cannot believe that at least one fun bag didn't pop out. This was the closest attention I have ever paid to NASCAR TV coverage. What a sport.
- Nick Cage does the "Gentleman, start your engines" call in a very typical Nick Cage fashion. You know, disappointing. Maybe there are people that like him in the South.
- Because everyone hates on my boy J. Gordon (and loves Dale Earnhardt, Jr.), I return the favor by rooting for a Jr.-involved pileup. Of course, this happened, I laughed, sent Tom a derogatory text, then continued doing nothing on the internet.
- The last half mile was great, Mark Martin almost winning it for the first time (he's a NASCAR dinosaur)... that's made-for-TV drama for those of you scoring at home.
Anyway, a few other random thoughts:
- I saw the White Rapper show for the first time yesterday. It's pretty stupid, but I was sucked in. The episode I saw featured the three remaining contestants battling Detroit underground rap legends a la B. Rabbit... and getting the shit beat out of them. It was actually quite entertaining for such a moronic concept.
- Cari read our blog for the first time last night. Her comments: "It's basically a sports and 24 blog." That's it. She's listed as doubtful for ever reading it again.
- This has all the makings of Johnny Damon all over again. http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/spring2007/news/story?id=2779127
- Noticed a reference to this site in Sports Illustrated this week. http://www.outsports.com/ It's a website dedicated to gay athletes. They apparently included Tim Hardaway in their top 10 most likely NBAer to be gay list in like 2001. Those bastards on "Out Sports" beat us to the punch. No matter what is written in this blog, it is not the gayest sports forum on the web (go to outsports.com and check out the image link to the store on the left side - wow). At least we got that goin for us...
- St. John's coming back to national relevance in CBB? No way. I watched 3/4 of the SJU-Duke game this afternoon. God awful. The Johnnies only scored 10 points in the first half. That's like a middle school girls basketball score. Anyhow, the 'Storm made a solid run in the middle of the second half, but ultimately came up short because they played liked wheelchair basketball players who left their wheelchairs at home.
Ok, I'm out.
- The Dick
- First, Kelly Clarkson performed on the infield before the race. I don't like her music, but she was wearing the skimpiest, loose-fitting top I have ever seen. It may have been a napkin. Or a pocket square. You got a visual, yet? My buddy, Tom, texted me a few times begging for a "tit shot." My sentiments exactly, Tom. I cannot believe that at least one fun bag didn't pop out. This was the closest attention I have ever paid to NASCAR TV coverage. What a sport.
- Nick Cage does the "Gentleman, start your engines" call in a very typical Nick Cage fashion. You know, disappointing. Maybe there are people that like him in the South.
- Because everyone hates on my boy J. Gordon (and loves Dale Earnhardt, Jr.), I return the favor by rooting for a Jr.-involved pileup. Of course, this happened, I laughed, sent Tom a derogatory text, then continued doing nothing on the internet.
- The last half mile was great, Mark Martin almost winning it for the first time (he's a NASCAR dinosaur)... that's made-for-TV drama for those of you scoring at home.
Anyway, a few other random thoughts:
- I saw the White Rapper show for the first time yesterday. It's pretty stupid, but I was sucked in. The episode I saw featured the three remaining contestants battling Detroit underground rap legends a la B. Rabbit... and getting the shit beat out of them. It was actually quite entertaining for such a moronic concept.
- Cari read our blog for the first time last night. Her comments: "It's basically a sports and 24 blog." That's it. She's listed as doubtful for ever reading it again.
- This has all the makings of Johnny Damon all over again. http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/spring2007/news/story?id=2779127
- Noticed a reference to this site in Sports Illustrated this week. http://www.outsports.com/ It's a website dedicated to gay athletes. They apparently included Tim Hardaway in their top 10 most likely NBAer to be gay list in like 2001. Those bastards on "Out Sports" beat us to the punch. No matter what is written in this blog, it is not the gayest sports forum on the web (go to outsports.com and check out the image link to the store on the left side - wow). At least we got that goin for us...
- St. John's coming back to national relevance in CBB? No way. I watched 3/4 of the SJU-Duke game this afternoon. God awful. The Johnnies only scored 10 points in the first half. That's like a middle school girls basketball score. Anyhow, the 'Storm made a solid run in the middle of the second half, but ultimately came up short because they played liked wheelchair basketball players who left their wheelchairs at home.
Ok, I'm out.
- The Dick
posted by Dick Dastardly at
4:26 PM
9 Comments:
it's funny how kelly clarkson is actually the single greatest artist in any medium.
She's come a long way since American Idol - that's for sure. I'll give you "Since you been gone" (apparently not "Since you've been gone") - that song is definitely catchy. But the most important Clarkson transformation is the baby fat that she has shed. She is legitimately hot now.
But in all seriousness, you have to stop giving her juke box love. The song is not old enough for it to be funny and not good enough for it to be an acceptable play. Was that really worth a dollar?
remember "from justin to kelly" the movie? one of the great "on-demands" of senior year. you know who loved that movie? the sniper.
also, where's the link to the pic of clarkson at the 500?
NAS-CAR?? Growing up in a NASCAR town has put me off that "sport" for good (mostly because of the confederate flag loving fans) /rant
Also, calling Kelly Clarkson "legitimately hot" absolutely is a stretch. I'm all for calling other girls hot, if we're talking about Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Alba....but Kelly Clarkson is no more than a solid 6.
Your OutSports comment reminded me that we forgot an athlete from our discussion the other week. Cristiano Ronaldo. Absolutely gorgeous player for ManU. Also the most metro guy ever (he's appearing in Vogue this month), he makes Brady look macho. Although I guess Brady really proved himself with that pregnancy and pulling Giselle!
yeah, ronaldo is definitely a gay candidate. apparently he's a huge gay icon after this past year's world cup, probably because he played like a huge pussy.
he is fucking nasty, though. probably the best player in the premier league this year and possibly in the world.
ricks, did you just say ronaldo was gorgeous?
listen, i don't want there to be any misunderstanding here because i know this might come across as a little ambiguous...but i hate gay people. yes, i am homophobic.
kelly clarkson is not hot. dick, i'm afraid you're a chubby chaser, if you feel that way. kelly is cute, but she's no tori praver, who single-handledly saved this year's swimsuit issue from beyonce's bootyliscious clutches.
legend returns....
Legend/Hardaway, I'm allowed to call Ronaldo gorgeous...I'm female, boobs and all. Plus he is gorgeous, maybe only a step behind Beckham.
What do you have against Beyonce? You're not ready for that jelly?
Re: Livingston injury...I hurt from watching it. Worst basketball injury ever?
wow, i hadn't seen the livingston injury. that was fucking gross, right there with kendall and theisman. im still going with rudy t for worst basketball injury ever, though. since he almost died and all
that moises alou dislocated ankle when he was on the expos was nasty, too. he was rounding first and his ankle just gave. puke.
in hindsight, calling kelly clarkson "hot" may have been an overstatement. you can't deny that she is at least good looking at this point. either way, i was diggin her at daytona.
hey ricks, "boobs and all"? prove it (attach picture).
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